5 posts tagged “me”
Self-loathing is such a nasty state of mind to be stuck in.
I work today, covering for a pregnant co-worker who is now on bed rest for two months. Wanna know why? Because she refused to stop smoking during her pregnancy and now there is a chance that she could lose her child. I hate other women. I hate how selfish and self-centred they seem. I have never had a strong female role-model in my life. No one has seemed worth worshipping, and so I've learned to find the best of myself to compare with other men. It's such a strange state of being: I would rather identify with a man than a woman.
This isn't to say I'm signing myself up for the next slot on the sexual reassignment list--no, I like having teh bewbees too much.
I'm simply wondering why I was never exposed to Tori Amos as a kid. Thanks, mom.
We had a passive sort of
love-lust-hate-me-hold-me
make
me
ache situation.
I want that
fuck-fondle-kiss-kiss
kill
you
dead feeling again.
But I don't want you and your
sigh-ugh-yes-no
God
damn
you retaliations.
You, with that strange little
leather-lace-soft-hard
eyes
lips
mouth off, girl.
Sometimes little girls never learn
to grow
up.
the river at night lies
dormant, motionless and
without sound;
but in the reflections of
tiny pinpricks of light--the pale
shadows of stars--
there is movement,
and you realise, oh God,
you know, that soon,
so soon, it will wake
up.
'La puce'
la puce
saute
bouchées
suce de mon sang
et je,
je pose immobile comme une statue,
froid,
et presque exsangue.
'The Flea'
the flea
jumps
bites
sucks
of my blood
and I,
I lay still as a statue,
cold,
and almost bloodless.
I haven't written/spoken French actively in years, so if anyone out there is fluent enough to fix any glaring errors, please comment.
I feel like such a cunt today. I almost plagiarised a song and felt very depressed when I realised what I was writing.
Creativity be damned.
Ryan and I watching Ace of Cakes together:
"She has a very ambiguous ethnicity.
I like that in a broom--woman."
Yes, people. I am teh smurt.
